An ultimate crush?

This was submitted as a comment but I thought it might be better as a “guest post”… sounds like this guy really needs some advice, let’s try to help him out! — GT


“Ok so I keep beating myself up on conflicting situations… I went to college as a confused teenager unsure of my sexuality… I was interested in girls but way more fascinated in boys on the count of i think i understand them better… I was almost certain i was a masculine bi male when all of a sudden at college preview, i saw this guy walk in. My heart shattered at how much i desired him yet i knew i would only see him briefly in such a huge college. well. i was wrong. during the preview, we got roomed together and i got to know him better to find out how similar we were. we loved sports and cars and both were aspiring to medical school eventually. At this point, i fell in love with this guy with an ultimate crush. I was happy with the crush since we never exchanged numbers so i would have lusted and never seen him again. I left for home sad and got prepared for college in the fall. I knew this was a fresh start for my life as a curious male.

“I came to my class on the first day and guess who sits next to me on the first day. My ultimate crush. We had all the same classes on accident. We exchanged numbers and did guy things together such as working out (i loved to touch his muscles), chilling, drinking, pool, whatever came up. I grew intensely in love with this kid and would do anything for him but i was never good at reading signs. he is older than me, 20 and is still a virgin which makes me wonder if he is straight since he had a GF and never tried anything at 20? he sounds like he could be curious to me. We both denouce gay things and acts but in my opinion, i believe the people who deny the most are more gay than anyone. I have never tried anything on him or have never shared any details with my sexual life with him since i am scared to freak him out.

“I am curious if i have a chance to experiment with this guy? he is even asking to get an apartment with me. He has no idea or hint that i am bi so this thoughts may change but otherwise i am deeply in love with this kid and was wondering on what you think. Lately he has keeps avoiding me. i haven’t come off strong. Anyone think he has a crush on me and is trying to kill it by avoiding me? we are starting classes in the fall shortly and we picked all the same classes to be with eachother as “bros” but i am looking for more. How can i make this lust go away? How am i sure what he feels? It is really tearing me apart cause i dont know my next move. we are close but are we that close? I can not sleep at night always thinking about him. I think i will give up and love him as a close friend and nothing more. my life sucks at this point so any advice and encouragement is greatly appreciated : )…”

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2 Responses to An ultimate crush?

  1. Erin says:

    okay, first off let me say that i’m totally new to this website so don’t give me too much for this.

    With that, let me tell you. I know exactly what situation you’re in, and i know those long nights where you just think about him all night, and never get sleep. If he’s starting to drift away, look at yourself and see if you’ve exposed your “gay” side too much (because if that were true, maybe he’s starting to get creeped out… emphasis on the maybe) but from what i hear, your bisexuality or homosexuality might not bother him, since after all you two are “bros”. If he’s discussing moving into an appartment with you, the only thing i can say is to play it cool. If he is like what you say ‘in love with you’ then to continue your friendship/non-homosexual relationship would be a good thing for both of you.

    From what i’ve read on this site (and i’ve pretty much read everything) it seems like the main.. hint of advice for lack of better terms… seems to be “let the straight guy do the work”. I can’t seem to agree more on this. If he is in fact in love with you let him come to you. In my opinion, having a bro is way more satisfying than trying to make a move, and completely ruining the situation at hand.

    again, let me say that i’m new to this whole site so forgive me if im sounding a bit premature.

    • maybebi says:

      No offense but that’s not quite the situation that I’m in. He’s the one who’s definitely gay; I’m the one who’s been trying to figure out whether I’m straight or bi. (Quite sure I’m not 100% gay.) Since he’s gay… I don’t think that he’d have a problem with it if I were to “expose my ‘gay’ side too much”.

      I certainly agree that having a bro is more important 🙂

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