I did it again.

Long distance relationship, that is. Time to rewind, not sure I’ve given all the info here.

A few months back, I finally decided that the (female) friend I’d had the crush on for so long was never going to be anything more, and that I really ought to get past her. That was partly due to her deciding to take a job literally on the other side of the world, so it’ll be 2-3 years before I’d see her again anyway. And partly I got tired of the idea of long-distance relationships. I’d been looking around here, stepped that up some.


There’s a girl I’d gone out with a few times a couple years back. I’d liked her, but she was coming on a little too strong. Not too strong in the “come over and sex me up” sense, apparently she was deeply in love after one date… do I has the magic or what? πŸ™‚ Except that I don’t really see how someone can fall “in love” so fast. So I backed off, without really telling her what the problem was, leaving her confused and hurt and still, apparently, in love with me.

Ironically their names are the same. At least I’ll never have to worry about calling the wrong name.

So anyway. I posted about the “giving up on TravellingGirl” somewhere where NewGirl could read it, without realizing that she was still in love with me. She started chatting with me on Facebook and stuff. She made it clear she was still interested, I was still trying to figure out if I really was. I was going to be visiting town anyway to see my brother (that’s “brother”-slash-boyfriend-slash-best-friend-slash-mancrush), so I figured I’d go up a day or two early to see her.

Memo to self: If she’s calling you “cutie” and squeals in glee about you coming up to visit… she’s not just a friend, at least in her mind. In my defense, this was after 5 years of occasionally visiting TravellingGirl without any trace of romance in the invitation.

On the strength of three dates (2 that were years ago, and a movie and dinner after I get up there in June), she was ready to snuggle up to me in bed. She consistently wanted to cuddle and/or make out instead of talking. What was there to talk about? Take your pick… she wanted me to move back up to where she lives – an area where the unemployment rate is headed for 22-23% and which has no jobs in my field period.

As for sex… nope, not yet. It was confusing-but-nice to discover that I was right about being attracted to the whole person not just a body…. initially we’d kiss and zero “reaction”. The more time we spent together getting to know each other, the more I started to “react”. So that was nice. πŸ™‚

(In case you’re thinking, she wanted him and he didn’t go for it? Yeah he really IS gay! — Keep in mind that I don’t believe in casual sex period, and that guy-girl sex in particular is worth saving for a relationship that’s going to last. It was not a lack of physical desire.)

Anyway, there were enough other problems that I’m not sure it’s going to last. She already had me meeting her friends and even her family – her sister “just happened” to be visiting. Did NOT want to “share” me with my brother, either, although they got along well enough. Probably would not have helped to tell her that I felt a lot more comfortable sleeping in bed with him than I did sleeping in bed with her, so not a word to her yet about the whole bi thing. I’m still not sure how relevant that really is anyway. If I ever feel a real need to push her away I’ll try her out on it. She’s jealous of my brother that she’d probably flip if she knew how close we are, heh. “You mean you’ve…. with HIM?? But you won’t with ME?????”

So, that’s basically it… got blind-sided into yet another long-distance relationship that is probably going nowhere.


3 Responses to I did it again.

  1. inlovewithbestfriend says:

    I think that people are a lot more open about bisexuality than you’d think. The other day I went to watch a movie with some friends of mine from work and after the movie when we all went to grab a bite, two of my friends (a guy and a girl) mentioned how they were open to “trying new things” with members of the same sex (how this topic came about is a long story), and none of the other people who were there seemed to be put out by it.

    Not to mention that my best friend (who is not the most open-minded person in the world) on whom I’ve been crushing for the past year or so is still cool with me even after I told him how I’ve felt about him all this time. We don’t have sleepovers any more, but just about everything else is as it was before.

    I think that people realize that even though it’s socially unorthodox to be openly bisexual, most people engage in that type of behavior or foster that type of fantasy at some point in their life. It is my contention that in the near future it won’t be a taboo at all to have that kind of connection with a close friend or to want to experiment new things with people of your same gender.

    • maybebi says:

      Not real sure how she feels about bisexuality. I know she’s okay with gay guys (one of her best friends at work is gay).

      It “won’t be a taboo at all” – to whom? Society is anything but homogeneous. There’s already people for whom it’s perfectly natural to “experiment”. There’s also people for whom it’ll never be “natural” at all, no matter who’s doing it…

      • inlovewithbestfriend says:

        Society might not be homogeneous, but there’s always a general consensus in society. Just like in the 1800’s it was considered “normal” for white people to consider blacks as inferior, today it’s “normal” to frown upon anything other than heterosexual monogamous sexual interactions. Sure, there’s a growing portion of the population that disagrees with this status quo, just as there was a growing abolitionist movement in the 1800’s, and now it’s frowned upon to be racist, even though some people still are. I’m sure the same thing will happen with sexuality. Sure there will still be some people that will still denounce anything other than heterosexual acts, but I think the majority of people will be much more open about it in the future than they are now.

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