This was going to be longer, but I set it aside as a draft a month ago and now I can’t remember what else I had in mind, if anything. Anyone have any comments/tips/thoughts on this? – someone who’s done it successfully, or had it done to him? Ladies, what circumstances would make you willing to “try stuff” with another woman?
This is another of those topics that seems to draw people here, although it’s not something that I can remember talking about much before. But hey, if people are interested I guess I can write about it.
First off, I’ve never done this. I don’t think I ever would. Honestly, it’s the whole “gay guys are out to seduce us!” idea that makes us straight guys cover up in the showers and stuff. To say nothing of the jokes about dropping the soap. It’s not so much that we can’t handle the fact that some guys like other guys, it’s that we’re not comfortable being the guys other guys like. So the whole “seduce the straight guy” bit seems counterproductive – at least for gay/bi guys who’d like an end to what they see as homophobia.
Also, I’ve never really had it done to me. My brother is the only gay guy I hang out with regularly (as far as I know, anyway), and he doesn’t have any bit of the “straight guy fetish” that some guys seem to have. So this is really just a list of some things *one* (mostly) straight guy thinks might be important.
Anyway. If you’re serious about doing it anyway, a couple things you might want to keep in mind:
1. He’s not gonna be interested if he’s not “interested”. (Read “horny”.)
2. He’s not gonna be interested if he’s flat-out turned off by you. This is perhaps more applicable for gay guys who come across as a little more feminine than average; for some reason, what’s attractive to us in women is a little bit of a turnoff in a guy. Not to say that you have to go out of your way to act hyper-masculine, especially if it’s really putting on act; just that it’s easier to feel attracted to someone you feel comfortable with, and easier to feel comfortable with someone when you feel like you’ve got some common ground. Then again, maybe a very feminine guy would have an advantage in a different way.
3. Don’t go too fast. Most straight guys have probably never really considered “messing around” with another guy. In particular, he probably hasn’t considered the idea of another guy “chasing” him; straight guys have a pretty comfortable thing going with the ladies where we’re the ones who chase them (at least on the surface), so it’s new and different for us to be in the “target” role. It takes a little while to get used to the idea. Again, it’s gotta be comfortable. Make sure he’s okay with talking about sex in general; if he just doesn’t want to discuss it with you at all, he’s probably not gonna want to hear your offer of “favors”.
4. If he says no – respect that. Whether it’s in a chat room or a bar or a dorm room or whatever, ‘no’ means ‘no’, and trying to talk him into it is more likely to make him angry than aroused.
Update: Wow, thanks for all the comments – and tips, I guess. Concerned about how straight guys see you or gay guys in general? Just going after them for sex may not be the best plan. So put that straight boy down!
Update 2, 2011: Most of the comments already posted (and ones I still get) are variations on a few basic ideas: (1) I like this guy, how do I get him to notice me? (2) I’m in love with my friend, how do I get him to try sex? (3) Straight guys are easy, just get them horny (with or without drugs or alcohol) and make yourself available.
I’ve never tried seducing a straight guy (nor was I really a straight guy who was “seduced”) so I can’t give specific tips — I wouldn’t, anyway, because I think in most cases it’s probably a mistake to force sex into a relationship that was working fine. (That goes for guy-girl relationships too.) So if you came here looking for tips on that, read the thoughts above, and be encouraged that yes, there ARE other guys who are having the same thoughts and struggle as you. Read through the comments, try to find something similar in what other guys have posted that might apply to you, or help you out in some way. (No, I won’t try to put anyone into contact with anybody else.)
I will not approve comments that ask for help with this. Feel free to leave a comment anyway, but if the content is basically one of the above ideas, I probably will just ignore it… not out of a lack of sympathy, but I don’t have much time or enthusiasm for this site anymore anyway.