Where do I begin? Well, first of all, I need to tell you I had a brother whom I could grow up with. So there was no lack of brotherhood when I was a kid as in your case. Unfortunately my brother died when on his teens leaving a huge emptiness in my life. After his death I actually realized how close we were and how empty my life became, and that’s how my search for a bromance started.

To make a long story short – I met HIM when I started my first year at uni and it was a click from the first sight (hahaha…). I had finally found that missing piece in my life. Even his family started to treat me as one of them. And I really felt like I’d fitted in. It was a strong emotional connection and nothing more. So our friendship evolved over the time and after a while I began to realize that I had a huge crash on him. To make things even worse for me we shared a bed a few times. Nothing happened, even though you could cut the tension with a knife.

But there was this one night we were out, sitting in a pub, drinking wine, talking bubbles and suddenly our eyes met. I can’t describe what I felt back then. I was definitely very scared and even more excited at the same time. We kissed. That was awesome and felt soooo natural. I couldn’t actually sleep that night thinking of what had happened and plotting all those weird scenarios in my head, and asking myself all those ‘why’ and ‘how’ questions. The morning after he claimed he didn’t remember a thing blaming our ‘drinking night out’ for whatever might then have happened. Until our next encounter…

It happened when we went snowboarding together. We were staying in this small private cabin so not only had we to share a room but also a bed! That night we got close and ended up having oral sex. We both wanted it to happen equally. A few days later I got completely cut off from his life and learnt he’d started dating this gal of his. They got pregnant and married (in this order) and I was left devastated. A total mess. I couldn’t find my own place for a long time, so to forget about him and make peace with myself I moved abroad and did more studying. You know, just to keep my head occupied. As they say, out of sight, out of mind…

It’s been a while now. We haven’t spoken to each other since our ‘breakup’, and as of now I don’t picture myself with any other guy or anyone at all to be completely honest. I simply enjoy being single for the time being and I really mean it. Am I over him? Dunno. I’d like to think so though. But I’m also afraid that if he asked me to be with him right away, I would totally do it, no matter what. But this is very unlikely to happen.

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We both are of 25 yrs. Both good looking and decent, educated guys. I met him in a coaching class 2.5yrs ago. Since then we are quite good friends. I have been physical with few gay men, but not with a girl yet, so am not sure of my sexuality, but for the time being I consider myself as gay. He had a girlfriend, but he never had sex with her(Due to different morals of society in our part of world). We talk on everything, chicks, sex, movies, fun etc.

But he probably doubts that I am gay as he had said things like I should go & check out some guys, and on which “POLE” am sitting on… lol.. etc. Once he even asked me (on phone) that whether am gay, which I ignored, as if I didnt hear that at all. Twice he has told me, on his own that he is of conservative thinking and wants to have sex only with girls and not with me ( thru text msg).

We meet every sunday in his friends’ apartment for some studies, where we are alone and last Sunday while we were eating bananas, I said that these are of quite good taste and he said, that “Oh so you like BANANAS very much?” I again showed as if I didnt get his meaning.

I dont know what to do. Am really attracted to him. But I dont want to lose him, as he is a very good guy & a good friend. But also want to seduce him …hehe !! Please gimme some decent help and seduction tactics…lol !! Thanks in advance !!

I’ve had strong feelings for my friend for over 20 years although it never felt like an option to tell him. I couldn’t even entertain the possibility of losing him as a friend. We both got married to women we love and have let our friendship drift slighly over the years. He’s now unfortunately going through a divorce and we’ve re-connected.

However lovely it is to see him on a regular basis and to help him though a very hard time, it’s also reminded me of how much deep feeling I have for him. So deep that I’m scared of the repurcussions it may have.

He’s recently started making lots of homosexual “jokes” even to the extent of joking that he’s told his ex-wife that he & I are “finally together”. He hasn’t, obviously, but I can’t help feeling that he’s sending out signals to test the water. Which I’d love to confirm for him but am scared to and sometimes I think it’s just my wishful thinking and it makes me feel foolish.

I’m also keenly aware that he’s in a very vulnerable position at the moment and I would never take advantage of that. I love him too much for that.

I know there’s no easy answer and possibly not an answer at all. It’s just nice to have found somewhere to share this with like-minded guys.

Ultimately, I guess I have be grateful that he’s in my life at all.

But several years ago, something changed inside me. I am happily married, but my wife lost all interest in sex. I tried to suppress my needs and urges in the name of my marriage. But that is like trying to squeeze a balloon. It eventually led me to the Internet. And there, I saw gay sex for the first time. I should have been appalled. But instead, I became hopelessly aroused. And as I chatted with other men, my desire for an encounter, if not a relationship with a man has grown significantly.

Maybe men are simply more accessible. Maybe it’s the power of a stiff penis that hypnotizes me. Maybe it’s the thrilling thought of smashing the glass wall that separates my straight life from a torrid and meaningful gay encounter. Now, I am hoping that I will be spotted and seduced, pulled into something for which I am ripe for the picking.

That might sound cluelessly naive. Perhaps I’ve been a bisexual time bomb for years but simply never knew it. But I have opened a genie’s bottle. And there’s no going back. I hope that I can find someone who can gently channel my anxieties and coach me into a healthy relationship. At my age, I feel the clock is running. Younger men have many more options and years of time to experience and grow. By contrast, with each year, I become less desirable.

I welcome your thoughts and perspective. Thanks very much for your excellent postings here!