How to seduce a straight guy
This was going to be longer, but I set it aside as a draft a month ago and now I can’t remember what else I had in mind, if anything. Anyone have any comments/tips/thoughts on this? - someone who’s done it successfully, or had it done to him? Ladies, what circumstances would make you willing to “try stuff” with another woman?
This is another of those topics that seems to draw people here, although it’s not something that I can remember talking about much before. But hey, if people are interested I guess I can write about it.
First off, I’ve never done this. I don’t think I ever would. Honestly, it’s the whole “gay guys are out to seduce us!” idea that makes us straight guys cover up in the showers and stuff. To say nothing of the jokes about dropping the soap. It’s not so much that we can’t handle the fact that some guys like other guys, it’s that we’re not comfortable being the guys other guys like. So the whole “seduce the straight guy” bit seems counterproductive - at least for gay/bi guys who’d like an end to what they see as homophobia.
Also, I’ve never really had it done to me. My brother is the only gay guy I hang out with regularly (as far as I know, anyway), and he doesn’t have any bit of the “straight guy fetish” that some guys seem to have. So this is really just a list of some things *one* (mostly) straight guy thinks might be important.
Anyway. If you’re serious about doing it anyway, a couple things you might want to keep in mind:
1. He’s not gonna be interested if he’s not “interested”. (Read “horny”.)
2. He’s not gonna be interested if he’s flat-out turned off by you. This is perhaps more applicable for gay guys who come across as a little more feminine than average; for some reason, what’s attractive to us in women is a little bit of a turnoff in a guy. Not to say that you have to go out of your way to act hyper-masculine, especially if it’s really putting on act; just that it’s easier to feel attracted to someone you feel comfortable with, and easier to feel comfortable with someone when you feel like you’ve got some common ground. Then again, maybe a very feminine guy would have an advantage in a different way.
3. Don’t go too fast. Most straight guys have probably never really considered “messing around” with another guy. In particular, he probably hasn’t considered the idea of another guy “chasing” him; straight guys have a pretty comfortable thing going with the ladies where we’re the ones who chase them (at least on the surface), so it’s new and different for us to be in the “target” role. It takes a little while to get used to the idea. Again, it’s gotta be comfortable. Make sure he’s okay with talking about sex in general; if he just doesn’t want to discuss it with you at all, he’s probably not gonna want to hear your offer of “favors”.
4. If he says no - respect that. Whether it’s in a chat room or a bar or a dorm room or whatever, ‘no’ means ‘no’, and trying to talk him into it is more likely to make him angry than aroused.
Update: Wow, thanks for all the comments - and tips, I guess. Concerned about how straight guys see you or gay guys in general? Just going after them for sex may not be the best plan. So put that straight boy down!
February 8, 2008 at 10:42 am
You left out - if he beats the living shit out you, that means no and IS an acceptable response. You knew he wasn’t queer and you tried to go there anyway.
February 8, 2008 at 12:59 pm
the aweful truth is that there is NO way to “convert” a straight guy. ultimately, they have to have had a notion in their head that they either denied or moved past; they’re either interested (read “want to try it”
or not interested. the only one who can convince him otherwise would be him.
now, the trick is to find the guys who secretly wonder and never act on it. generally, you can make an educated guess after prolonged exposure to them and without asking intrusive questions or trying to make a move/cop a feel. you’ll know if they’re “maybe” into it or not.
i don’t proactively persue straight guys, but i have an uncanny affinity toward attracting them to me. there’s something about being a gay man who doesn’t act gay (are we supposed to act feminine? no way), plays sports, is big into halo and boozing it up, but i think one thing that fascinates them the most is how overtly sexual i am and yet i never once try to make a move on them, i simply am not interested in them; they then feel compelled to start the conversations and explorations of their own experiences. i just sit back and help them out.
the thing with me is that i seem like just another one of the guys, but i have the sensative side and the intellectual side. being a “bro”, hey feel comfortable about approaching me and asking my help or opinion on things that are private and/or personal with them. I don’t want to toot my own horn, dont get me wrong; I’m so smart that people seek out my opinion or knowledge on something because they see me as an ‘authority’ on certain things and trust my judgement. being as sensative as i am, i think they start to connect with me and fall in love (at least they think so) before they realize they’re totally into me.
and of course you’re right, if a guy isn’t “horny”, he’ll ignore the subject all together. not that i mind, i’d rather get ina slap fight or kick their ass in halo! and also true is the fact that if they want a feminine person, they’ll go for something with a vagina… its just natural.
February 8, 2008 at 2:19 pm
[...] they share an intimacy that parallels that of me and my boys. It was by reading his latest post, How to seduce a straight guy, that I began to examine my boys. Yes, boys, plural, Marc aka “Dap”, and [...]
February 8, 2008 at 2:23 pm
i posted about you, your blog, and this post… enjoy!
February 9, 2008 at 10:48 am
@jonolan:
I agree that “you knew he wasn’t queer and you tried to go there anyway” is, maybe, a bit rude. I don’t agree that it justifies beating someone up.
Look at it this way - if it were a girl you weren’t into, rather than a guy, should she expect to get beaten? (No, because that’s something pretty much everyone understands is Not OK.)
If it were a girl getting hit on by a guy she didn’t like - should she beat him up? or at least slap him? Perhaps as a last resort, but it doesn’t always - even usually - come to that.
So why is kicking his butt the reasonable thing to do to a guy who comes onto you? It’s one thing if he’s trying to fend off getting raped, but “I think you’re hot and I’d like to pleasure you” isn’t exactly rape. It doesn’t hurt a straight guy’s masculinity if another guy wants to blow him; it might even be said to enhance it. After the 9th grade, the mature thing to do is to just say “no thanks” and move away.
So, why is it “an acceptable response”?
March 15, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I have often wondered where I would fit in these conversations. I, personally dont find other men attractive, which is weird because I fantasize about them. I don’t want to have a relationship with another guy, and I don’t look at other men as attractive or not. But I have thoughts about man to man things that make me feel as if I am at least some sort of gay. But then how do you bypass the whole relationship crap for a simple encounter? I guess it would be better for me just to admit that I like the dick just not the rest of it.
March 15, 2008 at 3:08 pm
If you are ever neart the space center, give me a call. Ask for the number duh!
March 16, 2008 at 11:07 pm
It’s really not as hard as some people may think. I know it’s been said many times within responses to this topic, but if the so-called ’straight guy’ isn’t horny, he won’t even go there with you. Trust me, I have first-hand experience with this sort of thing. The best suggestion i can make is, get him horny. Start talking about sex in general. Not just about sex between the both of you. Talk about plaes to do it, etc. Then move towards more intimate questions, such as favorite position/role. Dominant vs. Passive. After quite a bit of this, some comments may be dropped in as “jokes.” What you want to do, is convert these “jokes” into part of the conversation. Once you’re both talking about sex between the both of you, feed into his senses. Figure out what he wants you to say, and give it to him. One thing you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want to do, is go and run your mouth about the conversation you had. No matter how much you can’t believe you actually got a “straight” boy to talk about having sex with you (or another boy) DO NOT go and tell ANYONE about it. They’ll find out, and immediately loose interest completely. The fear of being “outed” will take over, and then it will be immensely difficult to get them back to that point you had them at last night. =] Hope this helps!